I have been looking for a job for awhile, and I finally got a job offer. I think I will like it. It's what I went to school for, and it seems like a good office to work in. The hours aren't too bad, and I am THANKFUL it's not retail again. I don't think I can go back to those crazy hours, the pressure, and also the politics in retail. Most people do not understand what being in management in a retail environment is like, but basically you are expected to give up your life and work your ass off for criticism. Of course not all jobs are as intense as my last one, and I enjoyed the fast paced chaos of the job, but not some of the people I had to deal with on a day to day basis.
Anyway, as I sit here in my last remaining days of being a SAHM, I am both sad and excited. Some days I long to feel like I am accomplishing more in my days then wiping noses and changing diapers. I am not good at the domestic stuff, I despise cleaning and most days I feel like why should I bother cleaning up the toys when I know the next days they will be scattered all over again.
I actually feel like a big failure when it comes to maintaining a household. I look around and see the finger prints on the walls, and dust bunnies under the furniture, and I think "I should be CLEANING." I look at my friend's houses and it seems they all are so good at the cleaning thing. They keep up with messes and their houses always look and smell nice. My house is a mess and smells like dog. I buy the plug in air freshners and before I know it they are empty. Those things are expensive! Jared gets so mad at me when I buy stuff like that. I know we could have used the money for gas money or diapers, but I hate smelling dog.
I let the dust get so thick you can write your memoirs in it on my tables. Dusting for me means 24 hours of red, itchy eyes, sneezing and problems with my asthma. I pay Jake to dust, but as with any 12 year old boy it's only a half assed job!
I can't remember the last time I washed my floors. I figure why should I because every time I do it rains and there's mud everywhere again. And frankly, I just don't care. I would rather sit with my kids and cuddle on the couch, or play with Laney and watch her learn new things. I would rather NAP.
I guess most of it stems from my Mom. She wasn't the best role model when it came to cleaning. Most of you who knew her understand what I mean. I would like to think I am not as bad. I am organized in my own way, I know where things are (unless it's anything mail related and then I have no idea because Jared is HORRIBLE with mail.) I like to think my house is organized chaos.
But now that I am going back to work I am worried about HOW I am going to do this. Obviously even though I hate to clean and I put it off as long as possible, I DO clean. But how am I going to work everyday, come home and spend time with my kids like I want to, get the stuff done around here, AND have time to sleep?
Part of me wishes it would be back in the 50s where women weren't expected to worry about who was raising their kids. I am lucky and their Grammy will watch them, but I worry about missing out on them when they are small. It goes SO fast. I feel like it was just yesterday when I met Jared, and now here I am 7 years later and we have THREE little ones together.
A big part of me knows I was made to be a mother. I was made to fix boo boos and give kisses and clap when my baby dances or shakes her bum to a commercial. I was made for football practices and driving kids to school and going on their field trips with them. My kids are MINE, and I want to be with them. I didn't have them so someone else could comfort them or kiss them good night. I honestly don't have a competitive career bone in my body. Unfortunately me working is necessary to pay the bills. Without my income we would be living in a box somewhere.
So to all my friends out there, I am sorry if you come over and there are tumbleweeds of cat hair in the corners. I'm sorry if there is mud on my kitchen floor or my toilet isn't sparkling. I'm sorry if I have piles of laundry and my bed isn't made (what a TOTAL waste of time). I'm sorry if there are dishes in the sink or cobwebs. I'm sorry if my windows are dirty and my car has french fries on the floor. But I honestly don't CARE. I don't want my kids growing up and thinking back to their childhood and thinking "all I remember Mom doing is cleaning all the time." I don't want our weekends spent scrubbing floors or me yelling their rooms aren't clean.
My brother and I had very messy rooms, and I think we turned out OK. We're not anal about cleaning, but we aren't hoarders either. I long decided if Jake and Quinn have messy rooms, I don't care. I am letting them be them. Obviously messy doesn't include trash or dirty dishes, or dirty sheets or filth. But if there are toys everywhere and Jake's video games all over his dresser, I don't care. That's HIS space. They do their chores around the house, I am teaching them responsibility. Eventually they will mature enough to look around and LIKE how a clean room makes them feel. For now I am happy with them being kids, and I just wish I was still a kid.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Best article I have read in awhile
http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/04/19/granderson.children.dress/index.html
A friend of mine on FB posted this article on their home page, and sometimes when people post links to articles I might not read them. 1 usually I don't care, and 2 I sometimes will disagree with the link and of course open my big mouth and have opinions. And usually my opinions start a small war and I lose friends.
But anyway, I saw this article and I had to read it. And I wholeheartedly agree with the author. I can not understand where parenting has gone. When I was younger I wasn't allowed to even allowed to wear lipgloss until I was 13. And make up, no way.
Jared and I both agree our daughters are not allowed many things that a lot of little girls wear. They do not wear clothing with words written on the butts. Jared made that perfectly clear before we even HAD daughters. Why do parents want to bring attention to their daughters' asses? Don't we have to worry about sick pedophiles enough without bringing attention to our kids' body parts?
Another thing we don't allow is bikinis. At first Jared banned ALL binkinis for our kids. However once I realized how hard it is to get a wet one piece swimsuit on and off Hadley when she has to go potty or was in a dirty swim diaper, I modified this rule a bit. Our girls are now allowed to wear a two-piece but the top must come down in a tankini style. No skimpy bikinis at all.
Like this guy, I am shocked when I see these young girls wearing skimpy clothing, clothing an adult would wear. Or little girls with make up on. What is wrong with these parents? Why would you let your kids dress like this?
I really think a lot of it stems from the laziness of parents. Parents now don't want to deal with their kids when they say no, so they don't. They let them talk back, run around wherever they want. Stay up to all hours, spend hours locked in bedrooms with boyfriends or girlfriends. They let them watch whatever they want, and when they do say no, the kids have a tantrum and they give in.
I see it a lot, and it starts when these kids are infants. Parents jump on the bandwagon, they baby proof every little thing in their houses so the babies never learn NOT to touch things that aren't theirs. They don't say no, and when Jr has a fit they give in and give Jr whatever he wants. Awww, Jr won't sleep except on my chest? Well now Jr sleeps in the parents' bed til he is 8.
I truly think it's laziness and also parents want to be their kids' friends. Kids don't NEED more friends, they need a parent to set down ground rules. When I was young I had curfews, rules, chores, and if I got a bad grade on my report card you better believe my ass was grass. I got spanked, my mouth washed out with soap and even my face slapped a time or two for rolling my eyes at my mother.
And you know what? I grew up respecting my parents. I was terrified to break curfew or get caught with a bad grade. I knew there were consequences for my actions. Kids now don't. They talk back to adults, have no regard for other people's property. And what happens to them? Mommy and Daddy ignore it or fix it for them.
Even summer school no longer is a "punishment". My stepson had to do summer school, and know what it involved? Sitting in his pajamas at 3 in the afternoon doing "school" on the computer. Where is the punishment in that? Where is the shame of spending your summer IN school?
The best is these parents who "don't believe in saying NO to my child." Are you KIDDING me? Usually the parents who say this are first time parents with infants and have NO clue what they are in for. I can guarentee that attitude will change once they realize they have created a 3 year old monster who is climbing their curtains and smashing their plate on the floor because they don't want to eat dinner.
I just think society has gone so soft on their children. Parents are under constant scrutiny of how they parent and God forbid you discipline your child in public without raising a few eyebrows and having some asshole calling CPS for child abuse.
A friend of mine on FB posted this article on their home page, and sometimes when people post links to articles I might not read them. 1 usually I don't care, and 2 I sometimes will disagree with the link and of course open my big mouth and have opinions. And usually my opinions start a small war and I lose friends.
But anyway, I saw this article and I had to read it. And I wholeheartedly agree with the author. I can not understand where parenting has gone. When I was younger I wasn't allowed to even allowed to wear lipgloss until I was 13. And make up, no way.
Jared and I both agree our daughters are not allowed many things that a lot of little girls wear. They do not wear clothing with words written on the butts. Jared made that perfectly clear before we even HAD daughters. Why do parents want to bring attention to their daughters' asses? Don't we have to worry about sick pedophiles enough without bringing attention to our kids' body parts?
Another thing we don't allow is bikinis. At first Jared banned ALL binkinis for our kids. However once I realized how hard it is to get a wet one piece swimsuit on and off Hadley when she has to go potty or was in a dirty swim diaper, I modified this rule a bit. Our girls are now allowed to wear a two-piece but the top must come down in a tankini style. No skimpy bikinis at all.
Like this guy, I am shocked when I see these young girls wearing skimpy clothing, clothing an adult would wear. Or little girls with make up on. What is wrong with these parents? Why would you let your kids dress like this?
I really think a lot of it stems from the laziness of parents. Parents now don't want to deal with their kids when they say no, so they don't. They let them talk back, run around wherever they want. Stay up to all hours, spend hours locked in bedrooms with boyfriends or girlfriends. They let them watch whatever they want, and when they do say no, the kids have a tantrum and they give in.
I see it a lot, and it starts when these kids are infants. Parents jump on the bandwagon, they baby proof every little thing in their houses so the babies never learn NOT to touch things that aren't theirs. They don't say no, and when Jr has a fit they give in and give Jr whatever he wants. Awww, Jr won't sleep except on my chest? Well now Jr sleeps in the parents' bed til he is 8.
I truly think it's laziness and also parents want to be their kids' friends. Kids don't NEED more friends, they need a parent to set down ground rules. When I was young I had curfews, rules, chores, and if I got a bad grade on my report card you better believe my ass was grass. I got spanked, my mouth washed out with soap and even my face slapped a time or two for rolling my eyes at my mother.
And you know what? I grew up respecting my parents. I was terrified to break curfew or get caught with a bad grade. I knew there were consequences for my actions. Kids now don't. They talk back to adults, have no regard for other people's property. And what happens to them? Mommy and Daddy ignore it or fix it for them.
Even summer school no longer is a "punishment". My stepson had to do summer school, and know what it involved? Sitting in his pajamas at 3 in the afternoon doing "school" on the computer. Where is the punishment in that? Where is the shame of spending your summer IN school?
The best is these parents who "don't believe in saying NO to my child." Are you KIDDING me? Usually the parents who say this are first time parents with infants and have NO clue what they are in for. I can guarentee that attitude will change once they realize they have created a 3 year old monster who is climbing their curtains and smashing their plate on the floor because they don't want to eat dinner.
I just think society has gone so soft on their children. Parents are under constant scrutiny of how they parent and God forbid you discipline your child in public without raising a few eyebrows and having some asshole calling CPS for child abuse.
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