Marriage and relationships

I haven't written for a few days, I was extremely busy and also my husband was home, which meant limited computer time for me.

Our 6th wedding anniversary is approaching on February 12th, the longer than either of our first marriages were. In some ways I can't believe it's been 6 years for us, and in others it feels like we've been together forever. To me, our marriage has been a very easy going one. Of course we fight occasionally, who doesn't? Usually it's about money, and the lack of it or what we're going to spend it on when we DO have it. I would say he and I have a good marriage, we laugh a lot, we have an amazing family. We drive each other crazy, in good ways and bad, LOL.

We were never traditional from the start. I found him on match.com, and we emailed and then talked on the phone a few weeks before we met in person. Our first date was at Chili's in Whitehall on February 18, 2004. I remember he wore a blue sweater and I thought he was way too skinny for my taste. But he was funny, and loved his kids, and I loved his bald head. I brought him a gift and loved the expression on his face when I said I had brought him a thong. A book thong, since we both love to read. He still uses it to this day. He brought me flowers, but had left them in the car in case our date was a dud.

From the start we hardly ever had kid-free time. The first month or two, and our dates were just us, but soon we introduced each other to our boys, and then them to each other. After that our time was basically spent with kids, so we never really had that alone time most marriages have. We jumped right in with both feet.

I proposed to him, on October 3rd 2004. We were celebrating my best friend's 30th birthday and at a hotel, and drinking, and I just asked him. He didn't think I was serious at first, but I was dead serious. I knew I loved him and his boys, and he was the best thing that had ever happened to me. He is truly my other half. After he realized I was serious, he said yes of course. Both our families were thrilled.

We were actually married twice. First time we eloped to Las Vegas, just the two of us. We waited in a LONG line at the Las Vegas courthouse for a marriage license on Valentine's weekend. Then at 10:30pm we took a limo to a little wedding chapel and were married by Reverend Cotton. He was a big black man, and his assistant was the witness and videographer AND the photographer. I carried a bouquet of plastic flowers I picked from a few choices hanging on a wall. It was rather funny, and I tried not to laugh through it. I wore a long peach colored dress I bought at David's Bridal on clearance, and Jared wore black pants and a cranberry colored shirt and a black tie. We exchanged plain silver wedding bands I bought at weddingbands.com. Afterwards we went back to the Luxor and changed clothes, and then headed to New York, New York and rode the roller coaster. We then gambled! It was perfect and so us.

The second time we decided to have a big vow renewal, where our friends and family could be there and we could officially join our two families into one. We got remarried at the Maryvale Castle in Maryland, and it was beautiful. Our ceremony was about joining our families, and each of us poured our own color sand into a cylander to represent each of us joining into one family.

We plan on renewing again, in the Bahamas for our 10 year. Maybe that's the secret of our success so far? We keep getting married? LOL.

I worry about some of our friends, who are having marriage problems. A good relationship doesn't have drama. It's give and take, and there's no questioning loyalties. I didn't realize this until I was almost 30 years old. There's never any question about love and if it's there, and if there is a problem you should be able to talk it through.

I'm not saying we're perfect, I know we're not. But the security of a good relationship/marriage feels so good. Rich or poor, kids or no kids, if you feel that security and that love, you can overcome anything.